I didn't sleep very well last night- physically uncomfortable, but I also kept worrying about whether Leah was moving or not (she's been a bit quieter lately- poor little bug is running out of room!), so this morning when I *finally* decided to get up to have some sugar- uhh, breakfast- to get her moving, I got some pretty intense back pain the *second* I stood up, out of bed.  That turned into some lower abdomen cramping, as well.  Manageable, but certainly uncomfortable.  Since then, the general crampy feeling has not really passed, and I've had two *loose* bm's (sorry, tmi.)  Oh, and the apple turnovers that I had for breakfast got Leah to dance around in there for a while, so all seems good in that department, also (crazy, psycho pregnant brain at the very end of pregnant, grr.)  I'm hoping this doesn't let up!  Maybe this is the onset of early labour?  Eek, I'm trying not to get overly excited and just lay low and see what happens.  Marcin is about to leave for work, shortly, but of course he can leave there as soon as I need him to, so he's very much "on call" for the day.  

I hope this is it! 

40w today- Leah's due date.

I'm 39w6d today.  Tomorrow is my due date!  For a few days there, it looked like Leah might come early, but today- nada, groan.  Perhaps she'll come tomorrow- on her due date?!  I was born on my due date, so here's hoping!  

Anywho, last night was nice.  Patrick and Ashley AGAIN surprised me with lunch (yummy! spicy chicken w/ rice and potatoes!  I think Pat was just trying to induce labour with the spiciness since he guessed that Leah would come today, on the 17th), and then Marcin and I went out to dinner, at the Pickle Barrel at Yonge & Eglinton.  Nothing terribly fancy, of course, but it was a nice dinner and I'm glad that he and I were able to get out on our own.  We also went into Sugar Mountain to buy some lollipops (to pack in the hospital bag!  Yum, chupa chups!), and I ended up getting a hazelnut galaxy bar (wow, amazing!) and some licorice flavoured altoids- if you think it's gross, shush you!  I learned to appreciate licorice when I worked there!  =P  While we were there we noticed that the staff a) was not talking to customers, b) barely said a word to me (and they recognized me, too!), c) had the back door open, and d) had a bunch of food and a drink sitting on the counter.  All of these things are WAAAY against store policy, so I decided tell Debby (since she's super unlucky with staff members and I feel that if they're dumb enough to keep on chatting amongst themselves when they know that Debby's friend...WHO USED TO MANAGE THE STORE is in there and didn't change what they were doing, well, they deserve to be "told on"!)  Today Debby text messaged me to tell me that they're claiming that I'm lying.  Ha.  Of course, she knows that I'm not (I have NOTHING to gain by lying!) and decided to put up a "now hiring" sign to "scare them" and discourage this sort of behaviour.  Hehe.  The thought of that made me giggle.  Wow, I got waaaaay off topic.  Uhmm, right.  So, we went to SM, to dinner, and then we were going to go to the movies, but Marcin was a bit tired so we just hopped into Indigo instead and Marcin bought me a baby care book- it's written by two doctors over at the hospital for sick children (in Toronto) and I like that it has a very Canadian, pro-breastfeeding. pro-make-your-own-mind-up-about-diapers sort of stance.  Also, it's not an overwhelming read like most of the baby books I flipped through- a lot of photographs and nice, glossy paper.  We drove back home after that and called it a night.  10-something and we were pooped!  Man, we're getting old!  =)

This morning we got up and had breakfast, dressed, etc.  Marcin is on day shifts from now on, so he has work at noon.  Before then, though, we drove over to Kiddie Proofers (a baby/child safety store) to get our convertible car seat professionally installed ($40 for the service but WOW, what piece of mind!  The car seat does NOT BUDGE out of its place.  I refuse to be part of the "90% of carseats are installed incorrectly statistic!")- anywho, they were still closed.  Since they were opening in 15 mins or so, we quickly drove up to Shoppers Drug Mart to buy some odds n' ends- and Marcin decided to pick up the Braun ThermoScan ear thermometer (it was on a price freeze @ $15 cheaper!  Score!)  Also, as part of the week deals or what-not, we got $30 worth of gift certificates for multiple/whichever restaurant with our purchase!  Mind you, they expire Feb 8th or so- but still!  We need to make sure to treat ourselves before then!  Oh, and since Marcin wanted to use his optimum points for the purchase, we needed to buy a certain amount so I threw in a gossip mag and a Reader's Digest for the hospital bag, also!  (Now I just need to remember NOT to read the thing until we're there!)  Phew!  So, yes, busy busy bees.  At this point we went back to the Kiddie Proofers place.  They installed our car seat after a short wait since we didn't have an appointment.  The lady there was a bit condescending to me- I guess they see a young person, pregnant, and think that I can't possibly know ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING baby-related.  Pfft.  She was trying to tell me that OUR carseat (which she did not see, btw!) was only 20 lbs rear-facing, when I *know* that it is up to 35 lbs (and 65 lbs forward-facing)- I didn't argue with her, of course- what's the point.  It's just hilarious how she was telling ME about MY CARSEAT that *I* spent a long time researching, yada yada, to make sure that I had something that was safe (and could keep our baby in the much-safer rear-facing positing for as long as possible!)  In any case, I didn't let it get to me.  Not really, anyways- although I'm glad Marcin picked up on it and mentioned it on the way home.  So yeah... he drove me home and got his stuff for work (all of this excitement before 11 AM, if you can believe it!) and then left.  

My day, since then, has been pretty productive!  Mind you, I'm exhausted because of it, *but* I managed to put away two baskets of laundry, dust EVERYTHING, and clean up the wires situation behind my desk!  It looks AMAZING now.  I am so glad it's taken care of!!!  With both Marcin and Nuno at work it's been a pretty quiet day- just my mom and I (and Neo our cat / Dexter our hamster)  Speaking of Neo- yesterday he LEARNED how to (or decided he'd start, I should say) jump(ing) inside Leah's crib and napping in there!  Part of me is all "NO WAY!  It's the baby's crib!" and the other part is just like "wow...that is so friggin cute"- the second part has, so far, won out and let him sleep in there =\  I figure she'll have to come in contact with him sooner-or-later AND also, she won't be sleeping in there for a long, long time- and once she does a) she'll be supervised ALL THE TIME or b) the door will be closed and Neo will be OUTSIDE the room.  So I'm not too worried.  I think that he thinks that this is some sort of elaborate cat bed for him, or something.  He even snuggled up to my brestFriend pillow that I currently have in there and a teddy bear that Arwen picked up for Leah!  Hehe.  

So that's my day so far.  Perhaps, if I'm up to it later, I'll straighten out the hospital bag although most of the things that need to make their way into there have slowly been making their way in... so we're mostly done.  And then call it a night, I guess.  I'll probably stay up and wait for Marcin, as is usually the case on week-ends.  We'll see. 

Tomorrow- Sus and Arwen are coming over since it's Susana's week-end with Arwen and she asked if we'd be home... of COURSE!  Besides Labour & Delivery, where ELSE would I be?!  =P  I love the company, not to mention that I *love* spending time with my niece, so I'm really looking forward to it!  

Okay, definitely rambling.  I'm going to go and settle in front of the tv now.  My mom's ironing in the living room, anyways, so I should at least keep her company.  Oh, one last thing.  I think I'm going to make my entries FRIENDS-ONLY once Leah gets here.  I just started thinking about how anyone could just read what I write... and it's not like I'm writing anything terribly important (or like I'd be very choosy about who to add, if an add were requested!), but once she's here, I just think I'd like to know WHO is reading my entries, that's all.  That, and then I could put up pics of her without being all weirded out- ooh, the internetz.  Okay, toodles.

39w4d today.  Still pregnant.  

I feel like it's going to happen *soon* but besides the mucus plug/bloody show situation and the fact that I'm 2 cm dilated (as of Tuesday afternoon), not much else seems to be going on.  

I was looking around my room today and noticed a lot of things that I'd like to do before the baby comes- the wires hanging behind my desk have been driving me insane for MONTHS but I've managed to push them out of my head- but now, I have this unreasonable NEED that they be taken care of -as soon as possible-  also, this whole place needs a good dusting (and I mean tops of bookcases and that sort of thing.)  Perhaps when Marcin gets in today I can ask him to push the desk forward for me so that I can have a good go at those wires and wipe everything down and tape those suckers down, also.  Everything is feeling so crowded, all-of-a-sudden, which makes sense since I went from having my own room with closet to living in a room with two other people (even if one of them isn't here yet- she has lots of stuff!) and no closet to stash things in.  Perhaps I'll go through some things today and try to stash them in the living room closet, since I know there's some extra room in there (random bag of cd-rs and dvd-rs- I'm lookin' at you!)  

The days just seem to drag on when no one else is at home.  I have no energy (not to mention the fact that it's cold out) to go outside and walk around- the short walk up to Eglinton nearly killed me the other day!  It certainly took *much* longer than normal!  

We have very few groceries in the house and some things just downright gross me out, so I have to be creative when planning my lunches.  Today, for example, I'm going to have some canned tuna fish with a little bit of mayo on crackers, some yoghurt, and possibly a peanut butter and jam sandwich on the last two pieces of sliced bread, toasted.  I can't seem to get enough of pb&j these days- I think, over the years, I had just forgot how good they went together!  In any case, we're out of chocolate milk, running out of sliced bread, have no NutriGrain bars, and are generally low/out of a few other staples of mine- so a trip to the grocery store *is* in order.  Perhaps that's another thing we can do this evening.  

Marcin is working days this week-end; that is- if Leah isn't here yet and he's working AT ALL.  The cool thing about him working days- and now having a car- is that he doesn't have to go to bed super early since he doesn't start work until NOON on Saturday.... so, maybe, I can convince him to go to The Keg with me for that steak I had last time (yummy- with scallops and shrimp!)  I could drool just at the thought of it.  We might as well make a date night out of it, now that I think of it- and head to the movies to watch something!  I have gift certificates that I can't get any use of as of... soon!  So, if Leah wants to come today/tomorrow- great!  But if not, then her daddy and I can have one last "us" [only] day.  Yup, the more I think about it, the more that sounds like a plan. 

Tomorrow was the day that I guessed she'd be born.  I suppose it's still possible, but the fact that I've experienced no *real* labour symptoms, I'm not going to hold my breath.  And, really, it'd be nice if she were born on the 22nd- just two months short of her daddy and my 5th anniversary!  =)

Okay, I'm rambling- and all of that talk of food, earlier, is making me hungry!  Time to get Neo out of the bed (he's all tucked in under the duvet- it's adorable) and make up the bed... and then time to chow down on something and find something to do that'll kill a few hours before Marcin and the rest of the family get home!  Perhaps some organizing, perhaps some tv, perhaps a nap- but probably a combination of all three!  

Still no contractions- or, I should say, very infrequent BH contractions- some mildly painful, others just uncomfortable.  BUT, last night, after watching American Idol and eating some ice cream *yum* I lost what I think was probably *most* of my mucus plug!  It was slightly bloody- all the better!  Sorry if that's too much info.  I know that this doesn't really *mean* anything, but I'm hoping that maybe Leah will grace us with her presence a few days early, anyways- she's due on Sunday!  I can't believe how close we are to all of this... I am so excited!  =)

Anyways, today is coooold out- or so I hear.  I have no plans of leaving my warm house.  Marcin brought me shortbread cookies and gossip magazines yesterday and I've eaten/read all of them, already, so perhaps I'll busy myself with finishing up the hospital bag, soon.  We might need it shortly!  With my birth plan finished (I made some finishing touches last night) I'm feeling really prepared for this!

Had my appointment with Dr. Melchior today. 

First exciting news of the day- I've lost one pound since last week (believe me, I can afford to lose a few more than one!)  My blood pressure was "normal" which is awesome, Leah's heart rate was good, she's a good-sized baby, and all that good stuff.  Also, she's sitting low in my pelvis.  The doctor asked me whether I wanted to have a cervical check and I agreed that I did- so after an uncomfortable/somewhat painful check I find out that- woohoo- I'm already 2 cm dilated!  Yay!  I guess all these uncomfortable BH contractions are not for nothin'!  =)

I was warned that cervical checks could = some bleeding, and had some when I got home, but minimal- and it's already stopped.  Leah is kickin' around pretty good, atm.  I'm so excited that she'll be here, soon!  I mean, at most, in a couple weeks she'll be here- this is definitely happening soon!  My next appointment is the 20th (next Tuesday), but I'm hoping that she comes before then!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!  

Uhmm.  I also finished my birth plan, and am feeling pretty prepared for her!  Tomorrow and the next day are supposed to be the two coldest days of the season, so far, so maybe she can come on Friday?!  Hehe... that's when Dr. Melchior is on-call at the hospital and would be able to deliver her, so it'd be a best case scenario.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see!  

So I'm in my 40th week of pregnancy- due on Sunday.  The time has just floooown by.  I have my first cervical check at my doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll finally know what (if anything!) my cervix has been up to!  Hopefully there's *some* progress... if only, so there'll be less to thin/dilate once things *really* start going.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed. 

In other news, the diaper sprayer / XL wetbag / BabyLegs that Marcin ordered finally arrived today!  Yay!  I was so super excited by the package.  If I knew anything on how to install the sprayer, it'd be done already, but I think I'll just be patient and wait for either Marcin or my super-handy mom to work on it once they get in from work. 

What else...?  Oh yes.  Arwen had her first "at her dad's" week-end this week-end and from all accounts, it was a successful week-end.  Susana came over and we went to dinner at Pickle Barrel (had the most amazing lobster/spinach/artichoke dip ever!  Yum) and then we went to go watch "The Unborn"... acting was "okay" at best, but there were some pretty seriously scary (or, should I say, MAKES YOU JUMP) moments.  Surprisingly, I've been sleeping okay since then... hehe... (the crazy pregnant woman that I am going to go see THE UNBORN... silly, silly me.)  So that was fun. 

And now... Patrick and Ashley are on their way over to my place and they're bringing me lunch!  Who could ask for better friends?!  =P  And... it's going to be a really nice banquet burger (that is almost making me drool at the thought of it!)  Yummy!  

Anywho, I think I hear them coming, so I'm going to run!  

So the good news about being up at ungodly hours is that boredom generally leads to things getting done (especially since it was MUCH too early to plop myself down, in front of the television!)  I am happy to announce that I *finally* finished all the required documents for my maternity leave application (mind you, it took 4+ hours to do!)  About time, huh?!  And, because I decided to call in just to double check some things, I found out that I can just tell them all the info via telephone and save the postage stamp (and the mailing time!)  Now they just need to get my ex-boss to cooperate and send in my ROE (since he hasn't been cooperating with me!) and then presto, application will be processed.  I wonder if I'll be able to get anything- I hope so.  In any case, we'll see.  It's officially out of my hands now.  *IF* I qualify for something, little as it may be, all I have to do from here on in is update the EDD with Leah's ACTUAL birth date.  That's it!  I am feeling very good about this... =)

Anywho, because of my busy morning (starting at 1:30 AM!) I still have not attempted a nap... but I think I will.  Conditions are perfect... it's snowing HEAVILY outside... the sky is GRAY/blah.  If it were sunny out I'd never be able to sleep, but this might actually work!  

Oh, and my *stepmother* (I guess- in any case, my father's wife) tricked me into answering her phone call today by calling our house with a private number.  She, apparently, wants to talk to me about some "news" but face-to-face.  I do not like this woman... ...for many reasons, but especially because she'd call the house with a blocked number so that I could not properly screen the call (it's my right, darnnit!  I shouldn't have to speak to people that only aggravate me and bring on more stress to my life!)  I've not yet decided whether I will meet her tomorrow (she normally drives to my house and asks that I come out and sit in the car to talk to her) or just ignore the call- and ALL private number calls on both cell and house line.  The only thing that might make me meet her is the possibility that she may have news regarding my paternal grandmother.  My grandma lives in Germany and, last I heard, was in hospital with some depression issues and such... since no one on my dad's side of the family bothers to update his adult kids on goings-ons with her, I never hear news about her unless it's from this woman... I'm thinking if anything happened with her, she should have just told me on the phone, though, no?  I dunno.  My life is so much less stressful when these people aren't in it.  I really wish she'd just give up and leave me alone... I'm VERY pregnant, with little patience, and tired to boot- can't she just leave me alone?!  (( My mom's only fault is that she raised me to be overly-polite and I could never speak my mind to this woman... sigh ))

Later today, after a nap and a shower- if the weather is still BLAH maybe it'll encourage me to write up my birth plan or finish packing the hospital bag- who knows!  Today's just turning out to be one of those RANDOM, RANDOM DAYS!  

Have I mentioned how much Neo, my cat, ADORES crinkly paper?!  If he had to choose between cat treats or crinkly paper, I'm almost sure the paper would win!  Bizarro!  
 

It's 5AM.  Marcin's alarm just went off and he'll be up for work shortly.  I, on the other hand, have been up since 1:30!  I got up because I was having some mildly uncomfortable braxton hicks contractions, then I went pee, ate a piece of bread and drank some water... turned the light off... could not sleep.  Turned the light back on and read for about an hour.  During this time, started to get REALLY bad heartburn.  Gross.  So, even though I am currently exhausted, I am unable to sleep.  And, at this point, it's pointless to try right now since Marcin will be up and about very soon.  

To put on the to-do list: NAP!  

(And, as I write this, I can hear Marcin's breathing slowing... he's drifting off to sleep again, I think he probably just pressed SNOOZE on his alarm... and my cat is fast asleep at his feet, also.  I'm jealous.)

So, yeah, Leah... whenever you wanna make an appearance, mama's ready for you!  I'd much rather be up with a newborn than up because of heartburn and braxton hicks!  

In other baby-related news, I got an e-mail from the WeeCare company (or something like that) stating that our order has been shipped!  Woohoo!  That means that our diaper sprayer, XL wetbag, and another pair of babyLegs are ON ROUTE from BC!  Expected delivery date is this Friday, so I can't wait!  I'll have to be very careful to hear the door, I guess- I really wouldn't want to miss the knock on the door and then have to travel to heck-knows-where to pick up the package.

But... if we *did* have to travel to heck-knows-where it'd be a lot easier since... Marcin's car is all ready to go!  The mechanic gave it a clean bill of health yesterday- emissions/Drive Clean test passed, and all!  He has a few things on his to-do list that are car-related, still, like getting his sticker (he has a temporary one, atm)/registration and swinging by the mechanic to pay him some more money... but then it's just "install car seat" and we're ready for some serious baby action!  It is such a relief!  He really has done good!  In other car-drama news, though, he has been unable to contact the guy who sold him the car to discuss the rest of the payment on the car because his first message to the guy stated that the car DID NOT pass the emissions test and that he would like to discuss it, etc., etc.  The guy probably thinks that he wants to go back on the deal (he doesn't) and isn't answering so that he can keep the money that has already been paid out.  So... the guy is losing out.  All he wants to do is pay him some more money... not the full amount that was still due because the guy misled him and it led to him having to pay for a LOT more things/fixes than he originally thought, BUT fair is fair and he agreed to pay up to a certain point once the car passed the emissions test, and it has (within the agreed upon amount.)  In any case, the car is legally his- his name is on the ownership paperwork and he has documents confirming transfer of ownership from the other guy to him.  He has insurance already, and has already done some fix-up work on the car and it is running well, so really it's the other guy's loss- and Marcin saves a few hundred dollars in the process.  Silly people being afraid to pick up a phone and figure out what's really going on (instead of just avoiding phone calls for seemingly no reason!)

So that's what's new here.  I plan on doing NOTHING today.  NADA, ZIP, ZILCH.  I've been so tired lately that if I even get around to calling back friends that have tried to contact me as of late, it'll be a miracle.  Honestly, my energy levels are at zero.  I might stay in bed a while longer (since my cat is all nestled up against my leg and I'd hate to disturb his royal highness!), perhaps I'll watch a movie on my laptop and then, slowly, start my day.  Slooooowly.